On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish you could order shots online.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
