Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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