I just made out with a guy for $7.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
