Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
