when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
never play flip cup with pint glasses
can u get pink eye on your cock?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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