Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
