I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
