Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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