True but thats because hes a fetus.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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