PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just found puke in my bra..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
