she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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