I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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