you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
