He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
