I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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