My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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