We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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