chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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