Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
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