we're blogging at a bar
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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