You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I pour the whiskey from now on
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
