**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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