what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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