A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
