I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you win again, gameday.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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