Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?

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  (813): you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you? http://tfl.nu/35zi
  Replies (12) Good night (2759) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.

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  (401): i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care. http://tfl.nu/npdd
  Replies (10) Good night (2876) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?

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  (570): Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips? http://tfl.nu/n3qx
  Replies (19) Good night (3214) Bad night (3310) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

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  (413): this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest http://tfl.nu/t110
  Replies (22) Good night (5176) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester

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  (724): yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester http://tfl.nu/0tku
  Replies (20) Good night (4377) Bad night (2363) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.

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  (215): I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box. http://tfl.nu/99g0
  Replies (14) Good night (4081) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

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  (416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl
  Replies (23) Good night (7368) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.

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  (802): I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me. http://tfl.nu/p69o
  Replies (11) Good night (973) Bad night (2903) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.

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  (515): No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today. http://tfl.nu/dl5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1196) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Omg I think I'm in the wrong class

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  (519): I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning (519): Omg I think I'm in the wrong class http://tfl.nu/znqx
  Replies (11) Good night (3737) Bad night (529)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.

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  (779): Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright. http://tfl.nu/yk6p
  Replies (8) Good night (1013) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.

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  (847): I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday. http://tfl.nu/eqk0
  Replies (4) Good night (853) Bad night (535)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.

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  (515): If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face. http://tfl.nu/ob45
  Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it

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  (303): His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it http://tfl.nu/k4oj
  Replies (6) Good night (1409) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.

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  (813): Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over. http://tfl.nu/p98p
  Replies (3) Good night (873) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt

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