i think i have herpe
just one?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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