it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
