Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
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I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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