You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
