Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
