I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize