He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
