i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
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I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
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Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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