dude i'm inner monologue high
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
