You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
