WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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