Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
