Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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