Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
