It's Friday. Sex?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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