the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
