To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
