can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
