Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
