i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
