so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
These tits shall not be calmed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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