Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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