Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
