this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize