O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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