There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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