im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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