Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dick very happy bro
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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