Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
