Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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