my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
