Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
