weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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